driving: day one
My son turned 15 and got his learner's permit yesterday. Since he's already been in the driver's ed classroom portion for a month, they encouraged him (so the boy says) to "practice driving as much as possible before Tuesday", when he will start the driving portion of the class, so that he can catch up to the other kids who have been driving already. Oh dear God. I was really hoping that these first, tenuous, real road experiences would be handled in class. Instead, he talked me into letting him drive home from the BMV. After consulting with my insurance agent to see that we were properly covered in the event of an accident, I hesitantly crawled into the passenger side and buckled up. I had him do a little visualization before we started. Which way did he want to get out of this parking lot? Which way did he want to turn at the first intersection? Which lane did he want to get into to make the turn? Visualize successful driving, grasshopper.
He'd been driving up and down our dead end street some, so he knew, basically, how to keep it between the lines, how to start and stop and make a turn. What I tried to tell him, and what he very soon realized, is that these talents don't get you very far in the real world. As I've told him, those things need to be so automatic that they are practically unconscious actions, because you've got a WHOLE LOT MORE GOING ON when you hit the streets. The first challenge was merging onto a major highway at rush hour. We survived but Andy was a bit shaken. I had a death grip on the car door. I had to explain some rules on the fly, such as "When I see brake lights on the car in front of us, I want to see your foot moving off the gas peddle and hovering over or pressing down on the brake peddle!" I mean, really, talk about near heart attack. Andy was getting a little stressed. I had to calm...way...down, breathe deeply, and put on my best firm-yet-reassuring voice. He's doing fine. Really. There is simply so much to learn that can't be taught by anything other than those tough teachers, Time and Experience.
One uncontrollable and frustrating part of the experience is other drivers. At one intersection, Andy didn't pull out fast enough for someone and got honked at. He was driving the speed limit in another place and so someone was RIGHT on the back bumper and making passing jabs to the right side of the road. IDIOT! I told Andy that part of his job behind the wheel was to ignore the jerks and pull out into traffic when HE felt completely comfortable. Let them honk and tailgate and scream and whatever they needed to do, but don't let them force you
into anything. This is very hard, I know.
A funny thing, the only funny thing, happened when I let him drive to the mall, and some idjit behind us honked at him. We both thought, SHEESH, AGAIN with the honking. I told Andy to ignore him, he hadn't done anything wrong at all. Then the idjit honked again, and Andy got frustrated and said, "WHAT? WHAT am I doing wrong?" Turns out the idjit was my brother! He was just trying to get my attention and didn't realize Andy was driving. He apologized when we stopped to talk and he recognized the terror in my face. His son is 15 and has had a learner's permit for a few months now. He knows.
He'd been driving up and down our dead end street some, so he knew, basically, how to keep it between the lines, how to start and stop and make a turn. What I tried to tell him, and what he very soon realized, is that these talents don't get you very far in the real world. As I've told him, those things need to be so automatic that they are practically unconscious actions, because you've got a WHOLE LOT MORE GOING ON when you hit the streets. The first challenge was merging onto a major highway at rush hour. We survived but Andy was a bit shaken. I had a death grip on the car door. I had to explain some rules on the fly, such as "When I see brake lights on the car in front of us, I want to see your foot moving off the gas peddle and hovering over or pressing down on the brake peddle!" I mean, really, talk about near heart attack. Andy was getting a little stressed. I had to calm...way...down, breathe deeply, and put on my best firm-yet-reassuring voice. He's doing fine. Really. There is simply so much to learn that can't be taught by anything other than those tough teachers, Time and Experience.
One uncontrollable and frustrating part of the experience is other drivers. At one intersection, Andy didn't pull out fast enough for someone and got honked at. He was driving the speed limit in another place and so someone was RIGHT on the back bumper and making passing jabs to the right side of the road. IDIOT! I told Andy that part of his job behind the wheel was to ignore the jerks and pull out into traffic when HE felt completely comfortable. Let them honk and tailgate and scream and whatever they needed to do, but don't let them force you
into anything. This is very hard, I know.
A funny thing, the only funny thing, happened when I let him drive to the mall, and some idjit behind us honked at him. We both thought, SHEESH, AGAIN with the honking. I told Andy to ignore him, he hadn't done anything wrong at all. Then the idjit honked again, and Andy got frustrated and said, "WHAT? WHAT am I doing wrong?" Turns out the idjit was my brother! He was just trying to get my attention and didn't realize Andy was driving. He apologized when we stopped to talk and he recognized the terror in my face. His son is 15 and has had a learner's permit for a few months now. He knows.
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