inked

Yesterday was a very unique day in my life because I got a tattoo. I've said "never" on that subject, but if there is one thing I've learned in life, it is to never say never. Number 1 son made the suggestion, three years ago when he got his first tattoo at age 18, that I recognize my 50th birthday with a tattoo. I have been considering, for three years, whether or not I wanted to do this, and if so, what. Reaching fifty feels like a big milestone for me. After much reflection over the past year, I realized that I love being fifty, love this time in my life. Not that it's all roses, but so many things are so good. I wanted to mark this milestone year. One thing I wanted to do to mark it was to challenge myself to complete another marathon this year, which I did. And I promised son that I would consider his tattoo idea.

Son is a persistent dude. Been that way his whole life. If he has what he considers an excellent idea, he does not waver in his attachment to the idea no matter how long it takes him to bring it to fruition. He has not let me forget, for three years, that I should be mulling this over. I finally decided that yes, I would do this with him. I would go and son would guide me through the experience and hold my hand. He was all for this and thought it would be a great bonding experience. So we booked the date, put down a deposit, and last night he held my hand as I had "go with all your heart" tattooed inside my left forearm. This is the second half of one of my lifelong mantras, "Wherever you go, go with all your heart." But I have small arms, and felt that the last few words expressed what I wanted to express rather more succinctly.

I did decide that if I was going to get inked, I was not going to worry about being able to hide it. At 50, I am very comfortable in my own skin and not everyone has to like me or agree with my decisions. I'm okay with that. I seek unconditional love in my life, not conditional approval. A friend of mine told me recently that he read a book about irrational thinking leading to unhappiness. The book said that thinking everyone must like you is an irrational thought. I couldn't agree more. I would post a photo of my new body adornment, but it is still sort of red and icky looking. Later, when the whole thing has calmed down, I shall. I'm not used to it being part of me yet, but I do think it is attractively done.