a little gratitude, a little resolution

Star date Jan 2, 2020.  I thought we'd be more Jestons-like by now, honestly. 

And so, that was the holidays, eh?  Crazy busy with family, friends, food, festive games, and all manner of good things.  I pretty much loved it all, but hugging my son as he got off the plane was one of the best moments. (Not to mention Tansy in her tiny Santa suit which brought joy to pretty much every single person in the airport on Christmas Eve.)  I try not to think about missing him every single day, because that would just get to be a drag.  But when I see him, it all comes flooding back, just how much I miss him every single day.  I am so grateful they can come home sometimes and so grateful I can visit them in Colorado sometimes.  It's never enough, but it's more than nothing, and I'm very happy for the life they are building in their distant state.

The holidays had their fraught moments with close family who are political polar opposites, and even though we tried to avoid talking politics at all costs, the nastiness seeps into relationships and it's just very difficult.  Fortunately most of the holiday was spent with my mom, stepdad, sons and their wives and girlfriends, all of whom are safe to talk about anything with.  That is a real godsend.  My mom can no longer do that with her own son, and let me tell you, it's heart-rending for her to feel like her son's beliefs are a repudiation of the social justice and human decency she has always believed in and fought for.  Hard times.

I typically avoid New Year's resolutions, mainly because, in the past, if I really wanted to do something or change something, I just DID it.  Why wait until New Years, I always said! Just do the thing!  I have always been motivated in that regard.  But this year, something has snapped, my friends.  I have been spectacularly unmotivated to keep up with the exercise and other health and well-being activities I've always done.  I'm having tests done but so far they've found nothing serious, so no worries.   They haven't recommended a brain scan, but I'm pretty sure there is just a patch of fog in there.   I think what ails me is called "getting older."  My brain and body have given up the charade that I'm much younger than my actual age.  Let's call a spade a spade--I'm 58 and veering into crone-hood. I'm coming to terms with that.  It's not all bad.  But I'd really like to have a modicum of energy to get through the day, so I still have a couple of things to test, which would've been done by now if the drs office had not sent me to the wrong lab, twice now.

AND, I made a resolution to do the Dry January challenge.  I've made it one day without my glass of wine, but dear god, that one day included a big dinner with family and champagne and good red wine at which every person in my family tried to convince me that it made NO sense to start such a thing on Jan 1 because it was still a holiday.  But my friends, I did it.  I gave them stink eye and told them they should be more supportive, and it's not "Dry January whenever you feel like it or don't have a  party to go to", it's just "Dry January" period, and yesterday it was January.  I made my mind up to do this and they should all be behind me. It's not like I drink far too much, but since the election of 2016 I've certainly drank more wine than I ever did before that tragic November.  And with the aforementioned problems of lack of all motivation and extreme sloth (which is NOT LIKE ME) I thought I'd give my body a rest and give this thing a try. 
 
Julie