practice practice

I would like to be awesome in a few ways. I think being awesome comes naturally to some people, but I can't seem to focus my powers to be really awesome at any one thing. For instance, I am not the wittiest person I know, but being witty is one of the things at which I would love to excel. I would kill to be as zingingly witty as, say, Dorothy Parker. Or even my friend John S who is one of the wittiest people I know in real life. I told friend John S. that I would love to be as witty as Dorothy Parker, and he shared this witticism with me:

“You can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think.” --Dorothy Parker, drawing the word “horticulture” during a game of “Give me a sentence”.

Ha! That is an awesome play on words. I do come up with a real zinger of a pun every now and then. I told my friend that I think of a lot of witty and scandalous and humorously scathing things, but always 15 minutes too late. He said that the French have an idiom for thinking of something too late and it is called "staircase wit", meaning after you are home from a party and going up to bed, you think of the perfect thing you should have said.  You will have to trust me on this, but I am a stunning staircase wit.  I must practice at being more awesome in this regard by thinking faster on my feet.